CT is ALMOST over.

tml is last paper btw!

ive gotta hang in there!

hais.....life sucks.like seriously.

i think im too materialistic.

i wanna lead the perfect life!!!

hais...

life sucks.

i think ive got no ______

and everyone's _______

cause it doesnt matter

but it doess.

you ________ like really?

idk!!!!!! URGH

sometimes you're _______

its not bout ______

but it IS.

everyone only likes to look at the bright side of things.

and i knw i will not be happy on my special day.

nth can change tt fact.

dont bother trying to comfort me.cus you'll nv understand me.

really.

theres no solution to this problem.

just like you can never solve global warming.

ok whats with the geog =.="

great.now im diao ing myself.

haha

I cant believe im related to you.

you _____

you really do.

idk what happened but i hate you.

and everyone makes mistakes.

but its ok.

i knw now tt i have nv had you.

life's ironic.

like really.

really really really.

i now knw i dont have ______

you are selfish

but thn again...im selfish too.

doesnt make sense does it.

hais.im jealous

im jealous tt ill nv be as good ________ as __________

im jealous....tt ill nv make it cus ___________

im jealous....cus im not special enough.

im jealous.....that i cannt get what i want even though i want it really badly.

Im addicted to shopping.

i wanna go haji lane!

saw a top i love!

but ITS 35BUCKS?!

currently broke.

jacq came my hse today

had fun and pillow talk

i wish everyday is like tt.

but its not.

hais

its good to catch up.

she forgot bout the maid and halfway got to go home.

so sad.

accp her to the busstop.

thn came home to my loving warmth of the the AIRCON!

these few days so fucking hot.

the aircon is my cradle!

haha.

im broke!ok i gotta pack my bag

gonna use a new bag i bought a few days ago!!!XD

LOVE THE BAG!

SUPER CUTE!

but got to find button pins to accesorise it.

=.="i hate useless stuff.

im being practical.

i rmb you gave me sth useless a few years ago.

so SUCK.this kinda ppl should really die.

gimme sth you dont need.(or i dont need XD)

just die!!!!!GRRRRRRrr

and i cant believe im related to you.

i feeel disgraced being related to you.

stupid!Pabo!Tweji!

Sat had buffet!everybody must wear red!!

Funny thing is you knw the buffet had cakes.

but there was someones birthday thn daddy sing and all like siao

laugh like crazy it was really fun

thn the ppl gave us a slice of the birthday cake

haha thn daddy so happy =.=

B4 that....WEnt to new shopping center ION!

took lots of pics but unfortunately the pics is with daddy i think

went to SEPHORA.Coolest cosmetic shop ive ever been to!!

LOOK!this is an ampule for hair!its oil inside the heart but its packaged like tt.cute eh?

Sunday went to mei mei yiyi's hse!!:D

had fun!

but thankfully it was over.

could go home after paper 1 thn me and veron went to CP

the feeling so shiok

its like only us 8 could go home cus the rest had paper(i meant those exp)

yeah anw!!

finally ate my filet o fish!!!:D DOUBLEE!!!!!!

Taken today,was waiting for him to come thn took some video and fun.

disturb my su su haha!

Today i feel sad.

like idk why...

after met him i feel even more sad.

its like idk why too.

i dont want our relationship to be based on ____

and i dont want to be feeling like this.

it makes me feel inferior.

and i dont want to feel inferior when im with him.

i really like being with him but its just tt sometimes i really just cant stand him.

i hate it tt he doesnt knw what im thinking.

well im not trying to say tt he should be able to read my mind.

but its like idk maybe i feel tt hes not attentive enough.

its like when hes with me sometimes i think his mind is always somewhere else.

and the fact tt idk much bout him is a killer.

it makes me certain of this uncertainty even more

the fact tt idk what hes thinking is even more killing me.

i really dont knw what goes on in his head.

and i dont knw any of his frens.he nv tells me anything.

and lately ive been trying to think alot about us and i feel tt i lost myself in tt "us"

and the fact tt i dont knw anything bout him gives me a bigger wake up call,

who is he?

who am i?(to him)

who is his friends?whats his favourite thing?

what interests him?

it takes time to knw a person..i knw.

but the thing is he nv tells me anything

he remains a mystery.

though if i ask he'd tell.but i want it to be not i ask and he shares with me.

idk how to speak up

today i got a surprise.

idk what to do.

didn he say you dont want it anymore?

why go back.

i dont knw how to react.i dont knw what to do.

all i can think of is how used and cheated and idk im in a state of shock.

i hate it tt the way he does things make me feel tt im unimportant.

i hate it tt hes always so busy.like as if he doesnt have much time for me.

i hate it tt he cannt give me a whole day of his time.no rush.

i hate it tt it cant be the way i pictured it.

and i hate it tt i keep comparing him to _____

i really am.

idk why.

idk if its normal.

but i think its not fair to cheston but i just cant help doing it.

its like i hate it tt he cant make me feel special.

tt im the only girl in his eyes.

maybe i was in my own world before.

but i nv forgot how tt feels.

and it doesnt help tt i noticed he cannt make me laugh or smile much.

not like ____

urgh!see!im doing it again!

now the question is really.

HAVE I LET GO?

to be honest i have.but why do i feel this way?

its not i miss ____. i dont get it.

and i cant tell anyone.so all you get to read is this

i feel tt i really cant tell anyone.

because i can nv do it.

its more than this.

its nv tt simple.

im not saying we have problems.its just how i feel.

and it sucks tt i can only think of one person who will understand my feeling

-i really dont need this right nw.especially when CT3 is coming up and my birthday is coming up.

so now the question is....are you willing to give it up?

idk what my answer will be.but i hope i choose it right.

cause its driving me nuts.

and i nv am a cheater.not really anws.

i want this feeling to go away..

-Peace out.

xoxo